Quote: For him to communicate with you means he'll expose a part of himself that he's trying to keep safe. I would bet that he feels great anxiety when those opportunities present themselves.
I tell you this because I find it to be true with many people...my mother, my MIL, and DEFINITELY my W. Maybe your H grew up in an environment that made it difficult for him to communicate, so he just doesn't have the skill, or perhaps things are just too painful for him? Who knows...but it seems to me he's trying to hide in his own muck and for one, you won't tolerate this forever, and two, he won't be able to tolerate it forever. Perhaps this is something for him to work on with your C???
oh jethro you are so right on.
h is a major conflict avoider...he I'm sure wouldn't see it that way...he would simply state that he let's others do their thing and has learned to just roll with the punches...with some people (especially those in his family) I've learned like him that is in fact that only way.
he is not always that way with me...mostly just when it's a sensitive subject or something that doesn't really mean much...to his credit...regarding the incident with friends w...he did call the other h (his friend) to clear things up as upposed to just waiting it out or leaving me to deal with it alone.
sure part of why h is this way is a result of being a business owner and needing to let a lot just roll off his back...but I suspect it comes from his upbringing...how can I say this nicely???? his mother is a rather strong, opinionated woman..don't tread on her or stand up to her lest you wish to be condemed or have to whether you were wrong or right find her sobbing alone in her bedroom to appologize.
me I want imediate resolution and or closure on a subject..h can let it ride. We need to find a balance of me letting things ride a bit more (wich I am) and h being a tad more assertive when it comes to issues.
