Hey LL, gotta make this quick, and I can discuss later, but I have a couple of thoughts I wanted to run by you...
You know, I know people who won't talk about things, and these same people are fearful of what will be discovered (about themselves) when they do talk. It sounds like your H is a huge conflict avoider, and that he constantly keeps himself distracted with work and other things around the house to avoid having to talk...or even think (we all know that sometimes our darkest moments occur when everything's quiet and we are by ourselves with our own thoughts).
For him to communicate with you means he'll expose a part of himself that he's trying to keep safe. I would bet that he feels great anxiety when those opportunities present themselves.
I tell you this because I find it to be true with many people...my mother, my MIL, and DEFINITELY my W. Maybe your H grew up in an environment that made it difficult for him to communicate, so he just doesn't have the skill, or perhaps things are just too painful for him? Who knows...but it seems to me he's trying to hide in his own muck and for one, you won't tolerate this forever, and two, he won't be able to tolerate it forever. Perhaps this is something for him to work on with your C???
Maybe I'm totally off-base, LL. Just thinking outloud...
