am I just an eternal pessimist?

[lostlove]

It's too bad that your H didn't jump to your defense...but I'll be the whole thing made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe HE feels that you could have "towed the line", just to smooth things over, even though SHE was being an A$$. to be honest shiny, though the other h did immediately follow his w out (not without saying see you later guys) and I know darn well if I had pulled such a stunt I would be sitting in the car for a half hour before my h would have come out...he (her h) had thrown a blanket over his head...out of embarrasment? fear of what was comming? I don't know...not my issue. You are right..h does admit to her being an a$$ but in some way does think me a bit of an a$$ for falling into her trap (though in her case I think it's an unintended trap)

He is entitled to his feelings, isn't he? of course, but it would be nice if we could each feel that the other validates our feelings, no? Would this fit with H's social style? a yup! Are you the more outspoken one? I get the feeling, perhaps you are. now gee what would give you that impression yes typically I am...but I'm learning to pick my battles and let things go...honestly until she stormed out I didn't even know we were arguing.

Oh yeah! LL I think you may be letting your disappointment in H (it would have been very nice to have him back you on this!) spill over. It happens. of course I am and I recognize that...how to stop myself from going down the tunnel....being aware helps but I wish it wouldn't happen...I don't like when the sky falls..

Thus the football thing (although I definitely see your point about the "men only" deal ) is probably much BIGGER because of it.

Would you LIKE to go to a game? h knows damn well that I would like to go. Why not ask? I don't bother anymore...I know the answer (well at least this year I wont have to worry about bil giving his ticket to his w to go with my h and leave me at home grrrrr!) The gender rule's been nixed.... h's response was "she bought her own ticket.." ok then h give me my "OWN" money and I'll buy my "OWN" ticket!!!!

LL do you make football nights a little rough for H? Are you mad when he gets in late? Frosty the next day? All understandable, but also good reasons for him to put off telling you about it!
no, what I am is dissapointed in the fact that h can stay awake and put asside the time to go to games or watch them...but can't give me the same time...we discussed it in c during last session...c's idea was "why can't it be something you do together" h's response..."it's just the guys" well that's apparently bs now isn't it...bils w is clearly NOT a guy!

And as for the discrepancy in "big purchases" for him and her...that's something that can definitely be negotiated! Come on LL! You KNOW you can work with that one....I THINK part of your problem is being a stay at home Mom, the money feels more like HIS. (I know a bit about this as until a year ago CJ earned 75% of our household income).
it may just be more of a he is the one who actually does the bookkeeping type thing...even when I did work...I wouldn't even make a 75$ purchase without first consulting him, out of respect.

Well, guess what? What YOU do there is worth a bloody fortune and NO ONE on the face of this world could do it like YOU do! YOU are MOMMY, You're STILL there, you deserve a comfy reading chair!!! I'm sure that if I brought up these purchases h's response would include "well you got that ring didn't you?....you went to florida didn't you" I would of course want to say...you buy season tickets to pats..you went to super bowl, you went to miami, you come home from games with 150$ game jerseys and this and that....his response of course would be that doesn't come from OUR budget....so it's a loosing battle...hmm let's see...one day a a while back...perhaps before h actually moved back in but was comming around...I was pissy had been out and saw a piece of furniture..cost 200...I told mil about it...she said let's get in the truck..we went..we bought it..brought it home...fil and h carried it in and put it were I wanted it and that was the end of that. perhaps I should take mil's advice more and just go get what I want.

ok so are things going bad?
heck no...a bad night that had nothing to do with h...just h's lack of interest in getting involved in petty crap and not validating my feelings in regard to said petty crap.
an issue with football (perhaps I wouldn't care much cept for the fact that before we got married I was taken to at least two games a year that dwindled to nothing)

I'm pretty sure things with h and I are fine....
I'm just foolishly waisting my energy awaiting some closure from the w who stormed out of my house...but that may be a long time comming if ever...so perhaps I should take h's adive and just let it go, I've got more important things to worry about.

LL