As I said...I don't think we have a big problem, but I would like to address it before it becomes worse. The baby is sleeping well at night and is usually down by 8:00 pm. Granted, my wife is tired after a long day of caring for the baby (which she enjoys immensely, but has admitted that it is a bit harrowing).
She used to turn in early pre-baby. Never had much energy after about 7:30 pm or so. Now she is even more ready for sleep in the evening. Problem is, evening is abot the only time we get where we are both home and the baby is likely to sleep for longer than a "nap".
I would think that if she doesn't want sex after a day's child caring for...why not try for some morning or afternoon fun, at least on weekends? I'm not an early riser, but would definately be game to be woken and "entertained" in bed for a while, on occasion. In the 5 years we've been together I don't think she's ever done this...even though I'll sometimes wear something kinky to bed the night before, hoping that in the morning she'll see it and get in the mood. Never works.
I am the one who initiates sex 95% of the time. Many times, a suggestion for sex gets ignored. Sometimes I just give up even trying to get her in the mood and weeks will go by, then she'll initiate...but that is rare as it is usually me that can't wait any longer and tries to initiate again.
I just want a healthy sexual relationship with my wife, so that I do not fall to temptation of an affair. Unfortunately, my wife has also gained a large amount of weight since we've been together and I find her not only lacking in the quantity of sex, but (just being honest and open here) also find her less and less physically attractive too. I find myself looking at other women all around and thinking to myself "she's better looking than my wife, wish I could be with her". I know this is wrong and unhealthey for our marriage...and I HOPE they are just thoughts and I'd never act on them, but I am worried that if opportunity presented itself, I might not be able to be a "god boy" and reject another woman's advances.
My trouble is communicating. I do not want my wife to know that I feel this way about her....it would crush her self-esteem. I'm looking for a way to get some improvement without making things even worse first. All advice is appreciated. THANKS.
(PS, I know I probably sound like a petty ass-hole...but the truth is the truth and I am not trying to hide from my honest feelings...I want this marriage to last and be healthy and I'm fully aware that if I acted on my urges to cheat, it would likely destroy our (and our child's) lives together)
