Quote: needs work with patience (I never was a patient one...always poking to see if I had a tan yet). Acceptance...I think it's pretty obvious I haven't yet accepted what has happend and allowed it to be put in the past.
Ahhh!!! That patience cr@p again! Seems to crop up time and time again, does it not? It is my humble opinion that we DBers can put our S's indiscretions in the past if they are willing to admit to their wrongdoing and work on the R in a positive way...in the present. I know, for me, it becomes ever more difficult to put things in the past when my W continues the patterns that led to the "downfall" to begin with. So, this brings us to expectations. And, yes, in the current stage of our M, I think we can have reasonable expectations.
I believe, LL, that if your H was effectively communicating with you and REALLY working on improving your R, then I believe you'd be able to let the past go more quickly. You likely already realize this, and as such, I'm curious as to whether you have specifically communicated this to your H?
Contrary to that, if our Ses really are working on things and we continue to get stuck in the past, then it's our own problem (and yes, in some ways I'm referring to myself).
Thus, I don't think you should beat yourself up too much for not letting things go. It takes two to tango.
