Frank, stop with the blaming yourself. Enough is enough already. You did not choose any of this crap, yes, you made some mistakes. But.... Not one of those mistakes justifies her actions. So pick it up and forget that nonsense.
Get a lawyer to review the papers just as we spoke about previously. They can answer all of your questions. I also don't know California law, but here you can write in that joint custody is fine as long as each parent has equivalent bedrooms to children. In other words it would tell her that she needs to get a 2 bdr place so your daughter has her own room with her mom. That is not to be mean or hurtful, it is for the best for your D13. Splitting time between homes sucks enough, not having your own space in each parents home can be detrimental.
College here in Tennessee is an optional item. Because the child has a "choice" to attend college it is not required by the courts here to enter anything regarding college.
Bottom line here Frank, while you look at this with anger, I am trying to see it as a big step in helping you let go and keep your focus where it needs to be. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and believe me when I tell you that I am sorry that it had to come to this. However, let's try something new here, right off the bat. I would like to see Frank find the silver lining and see how this could possibly help him... In fact, I challenge you to try.........
I love ya buddy, and you know how to get me if you need to talk...
