Why would I stay with an alcoholic?!?? Geez, Rustie, ask me a hard question!!!
Why would he stay with an adulteress?? I dunno. Just putting it out there.
1. Nobody's perfect. 2. He completely quit drinking in August 2005 and didn't have another drink until this past July. 3. I have isssues with Alcoholics Anonymous. The main issue I have is that a person is an alcoholic forever. I understand the theory behind it. But telling that person that they are sick for the rest of their life, when they have completely given up drinking, is difficult for me to stomach. I like SMART Recovery and a few others. My H's uncle has been sober for 25 years which is a huge accomplishment. Is he still sick? It's just a "me" thing. 4. The biggest influence alcohol had on our marriage is that I believed he loved the alcohol more. I was in constant competition. But I was doomed before that, because I was pregnant when we married. I didn't believe he really loved me and the drinking reinforced it. If he takes me back by choice, then my story changes. What I've always believed to be true, becomes false in an instant. How miraculous is that? And if I believed he loved me, how would I treat him different? It also changes the way he treats me because I'm not at a constant pity party. 5. The money it cost was....a lot. Cause we were spending $100 on booze a week easy. Not sure how I will handle that, but I'm not going to let it be as big an issue as I have in the past. Are the bills paid? Do we have everything we need? Okay. Quit panicking. 6. H doesn't think he has a problem. I know, I know. I'm definitely not saying he doesn't. But social issues were never it. I worried going home to my parents, but it was never bad. 7. My biggest worry/aggravation was that he put the family in a bad spot if something were to happen (dui, wreck, etc). That pissed me off the most. And it still does. But I spent a lot of time worrying about what had never happened and may never happen. I can' predict the future.
Once he quit these worries went away. He and I talked again last night. He says (Breakaway, don't you laugh at me!!!) that when he chooses to have a drink now, it's because he wants one, not because he needs one. Maybe it's a learned line.
7? 8? I am going to treat the alcohol different. I am not going to scream, cry, beg, plead, or fight the alcohol. It only helps it win. What I can do, is make the rest of our lives better, so that I don't have to compete with the alcohol. If there is nothing to escape from, then he won't want to drink.
Alright, Breakaway, go ahead with your 2x4 or your 4x6 or your 12x24....just get it over with. i won't promise it will work.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
