If you are going the friend route then you have to clear the deck concerning the marriage. Unless you plan on being a monk!! If you do start the dating scene....remember you are still a role model for your kids....your wife seems to have forgotten that. If you want them to know that it is not alright for married people to have girlfriends/boyfriends, then the marriage must be done first. Not just done in your mind (Like your wife thinks) but legally terminated. Unfortunately that takes time and you will be sitting there knowing your wife doesn't wait but that is the price you pay for your kids!!