I don't post to often, but your post caught my attention for some odd reason beyond comprehension. I would definitely continue to follow the advice from the more senior posters. I do ask though, has your husband been diagnosed with any mental problems, specifically ADD? You mentioned that he has a constant "need" for a project. That is not to be confused with the "want" for a project. People with ADD tend to "need" a project to keep themselves focused. When the stimulus of the project is removed they tend to act differently, which you alluded to, and pursue new projects. This "need" of a new project carries over to relationships as well and is documented in books that research the affects of ADD on relationships. With that being said and the reduction in lovemaking that you reported he could have lost focus on your relationship and moved on to the next relationship of "focus". In no way am I saying that these points are your fault, but they may be some symptoms that reveal the cause you are looking for. Another oddity about ADD people is they tend to look for relationships with people that most others would consider "crazy". The craziness of that other person is a stimulator for an ADD person since the constant changes provide for great amounts of mental, physical, and emotional stimulation.
Another bell ringer I noticed in you posts is repeated reports of excessive impulsive behavior. The house, that it seems you are aware was outside your budget, and the $100k in credit card debt are signs of big time impulsivity. I would beware of giving him more attention. If he indeed suffers from ADD, than more attention (sexual or otherwise) will only feed his need for stimulation. What better way to get stimulation than having two women fighting over you and while both of them are giving you affection....think about it!
I will finish with the little bit I see about you from your posts....you seem overly concerned with him and not with yourself. Focus on yourself and your son and don't let his swings affect you. You are worth more than that.
