Quote: ok the other stupid occurance...my trying to initiate while h was watching footbal...the only thing I can say about this one is that I will never understand men and their damn football
You initiated during football? What the HELL is wrong with you? We've been waiting 7 months for football season, it's finally here, and NOW you're initiating?
Well, I'm mostly just kidding, of course, although I do understand somewhat your H's response. My W has an internal buzzer that goes off precisely 2 minutes before the end of a close game that let's her know that it's time to insist that I immediately do some minimally important errand for her. It's simply uncanny.
Actually, though, my 7yo son was conceived during halftime of the Super Bowl (something I'm strangely sort of proud of), so I have a good mental connection between watching football and sex.
Quote: perhaps if I don't want to feel resentment when h declines or puts off (I am assuming from his initial reaction that he would have just waited the 4min till have time to respond) then when I'm in the middle of something I need to keep doing what I'm doing and not allow him to divert my attention...why should what I'm doing be considered less important than his football.
Wait a sec...he didn't actually decline, he only requested that you wait a little bit? Not totally unreasonable, is it? In his mind, he could have his cake (watch football til halftime) and eat it too (uh, so to speak), if only you'd kindly wait a few minutes. You're being oversensitive to rejection is what caused the problem, not his request for a slight delay.
I have the same problem sometimes dealing with my W on this. With her, the issue is sleep. If I initiate in the morning (even if she's already gotten 8 or 9 hours), she sometimes would prefer another 20 minutes of sleep, acting as if the 20 minutes is going to make or break her whole day. Irritating, because it sometimes means only getting a quickie, when I'd like it to be more relaxed, and it sometimes delays my getting up and getting on with the day, but I've found that if I just wait a bit, she eventually wakes up and is usually much more open to my advances. It doesn't feel good that she can prioritize a little extra sleep over having sex with me, and I wish it were different, but really, I shouldn't take it so personally. In her eyes, there's no reason why she can't do both, sleep more now, and have sex later. It's not a rejection of me, it's a rejection of what she sees as my unreasonable request.
In your case, how much better would your day have gone if you had just decided not to let your feelings be hurt and given him the gift of a few extra minutes of football watching?
That said, it IS hard not to take it personally. I'm glad you and he were able to have a good Sunday and that he made it up to you in the end.
Quote: he was hesitant to initate but did so, asked if it was ok...I let him know I was still a little angry...h's responded with " maybe in a little while you wont" found that a tad silly as if sex is the solve all, but I suppose he was trying to give me what I wanted so I tried to think of it that way.
Personally, I think that when the problem is his rejection of your initiating, the single best solution is HIS initiating. Really, what would've been better?
