something h says or does bothers me...depending on how "significant" I feel it is I either mention it to get resolve or I let it go... sometimes h is able to address it "properly" right then with words...other times the words that come from him only serve to further my ill feelings...I then retreat and am a tad cold..h then seems to tip toe around me being extra nice...doing the dishes, getting me a soda or a drink, keeping an eye on the kids himself (not saying "can you come out here and watch them I'm trying to get x done") constantly saying "what" as if I might have said something when I haven't, and then ultimately inititating sex. but a sorry or an actual discussion of the incident doesn't always happen again.
so let's see...the things that I've gotten really angry about in the past couple of weeks....
when I needed help with an appointment and h didn't offer or say something like "I want to help but I have x y and z to do" the real reason for my anger at this one...ow and the fact that he took her to one of her appointments.
let's see...did I have a ligitamate reason to be upset? sure. but...he drove ow in NOV that is a tad different for a landscaper than AUG. I sat Assuming that if it were ow asking he would have dropped what he was doing even if it were april. is that fair? nope. could I have handled it better? yup. could h have handled it better? you betcha. should I hold onto it and keep it on some score card in my mind of the bad things h has done? NOPE! so away it goes.
ok the other stupid occurance...my trying to initiate while h was watching footbal...the only thing I can say about this one is that I will never understand men and their damn football, and that perhaps if I don't want to feel resentment when h declines or puts off (I am assuming from his initial reaction that he would have just waited the 4min till have time to respond) then when I'm in the middle of something I need to keep doing what I'm doing and not allow him to divert my attention...why should what I'm doing be considered less important than his football.
ok that one was never outwardly appologized for. h has no idea where I went when I left the house (I must say I'm glad I went because I was sure that the letters and stuff had found would have been put back but they were not there, and I did not see ow's # on the cell phone bill either) and I didn't speak much at all to him in the am, infact I stayed in bed and let him attend to the kids. he the day just unfolded as a normal one...each of us progressively being nicer to eachother with each passing hour. we went to a family bday pty, he made my plate for me and brought it over was attentive, played vb with the guys but also kept an eye out for our kids. when we got home he attended to the kids while I cleaned and rearranged some stuff in the garage. he put both kids to bed, and asked what I was doing when I didn't just show up in the family room afterward. when I did join him in the family room he came over to my couch and cuddled me. he was hesitant to initate but did so, asked if it was ok...I let him know I was still a little angry...h's responded with " maybe in a little while you wont" found that a tad silly as if sex is the solve all, but I suppose he was trying to give me what I wanted so I tried to think of it that way.
it seems to me we've got a major game of cat and mouse going on here.
