You are a marvel. Thanks so much for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me. I feel like [censored] today, I think no matter how good it went I would be hurting now.
he is actually a gemini, not a piscean. Does that change your assessment of what I should do before I leave NYC sunday afternoon?
I totally know what you mean about the indescisive thing. It actually came up before in June when he was like, "I picked the dinner place, I picked the dessert place, YOU pick whether we eat inside or on the patio!" I used to be MEGA controlling about ... everything?? so it is my attempt at 180 to let him make as many decisions as possible, but I think I might be going overboard.
I can see how it would come off as not very confident. It is hard to fake confidence right now because I am feeling sort of... all around un confident about my life and everything. Maybe I just need to sing that sound from "the sound of music" ("strength comes in nights of peaceful slumbers...")
I also feel really silly that I didn't take off my little jacket and show off my shoulders. I mean, what do I have to lose, right? The skirt was really awesome and sort of transparent up to mid-thigh though (in a non-slutty way... hard to explain) so at least my legs were on full view!! (though covered in snuggly tights)!
Did you think it was as if he would see me again this visit, or see me again period? He doesn't even know if I'll decide to stay in town through the weekend, and he leaves sometime on Saturday. I really WANT to see him again, but without pushing or pursuing. Since the "lunch in maine thing" blew up in my face, I am hesitant to put myself out there. Also, in June when I didn't push for another meeting, he asked me to see his concert, but in August when I pushed for another meeting, he blew me off via text. So it seems like pushing does not "work". But if he doesn't even know how long I"m in town for, why would he ask to see me again?
Maybe I could text him something like: "thanks so much for your advice. I decided to keep my appointments and take the lesson sunday afternoon" so he would know I was in town without me asking to see him?
Or if I really wanted to be bold, I could text him something like, "Hey, would you want to visit the Please Don't Tell Bar on friday night with J [his out of town friend who I like]? Text me if you want me to make a reservation." But that is the night before he leaves, so he might be busy/packing...??
At the end I just said, "see you around" which has to be the vaguest possible goodbye EVER on my part, I think he just smiled at me or something, there wasn't a clear response to that.
Maybe I just need to sing that sound from "the sound of music" ("strength comes in nights of peaceful slumbers...")
