Organizing my Life

[BeingMe]

Here's something I wrote in regard to my sitch on someone else's thread. This doesn't happen very often, but every now and then, my H gets this way, and it makes me so mad in that moment. Then I try and let it go - one of my goals in life is to let IT go. I just don't know how to respond. He gets really passionate about this, and angry at himself. I wonder if he's depressed. He can't seem to relax or have fun. There are times I walk on eggshells, but not sure why. He's not one who
can settle into a job longer than 2 years (since leaving our homeland), but it's getting shorter and shorter. He also mentioned recently at how much he misses home, but there is nothing there for us. He knows this. I feel sometimes that he is toxic to our R, that he is white knuckling it, and I don't want a R like that. I have to give this some thought.

Oh gosh, yes. We are the psychic readers of our spouses, predetermining every wish, every need, every desire. We must always be strong and 'there' for them, while we get nothing (although my H seems to have changed in this regard to some extent). I still get the bored look when talking about my interests, while he can go on and on about his work and other stuff and I must be endlessly interested (which I usually am because I care about him). At this time in my life when I am going through some scary health issues, now he wants to talk about how unhappy he is, and how everything he touches turns to sh!t (sorry, his words)? One thing that can cause seizures is stress, so now I am worried about him, but trying not to stress out. Let me point out, he chose this career, he chose to travel, he chose all this (and we, his family, just has to fit into his plans), he wanted to come here where it ended up being difficult to travel from (for another great job) and now when it's not quite working out perfectly (the weather at this time) he wants to complain? He should be grateful for the excellent job he has, IMHO, at this time when the economy sucks.