Can someone explain to me how my wife and I can rebuild our marriage if she can only take a little of "US" at a time.
We have been apart 4 months. I don't live at home I moved back to our state 2 weeks ago after a very confusing and painful separation and distance.
Just after an excruciating holiday season and birthday apart, we met for dinner. We had a great time, no talk about the marriage. We ended the evening early. We planned to see a movie the coming Saturday. That was the day before NY Eve then I spent NY Eve totally alone.
I never mentioned to my wife how much that hurt but it was nearly enough pain to numb me to her.
The following Friday she called and said she was home and would I like to go see the movie then. We watched a movie and had a great time. She was very sweet, holding my hand and resting her head on my shoulder. But very few words.
Next day, Saturday I called her and she had just come home from work and she said she quit her weekend job. She wouldn't say more and I thought it was strange so I didn't press but later that evening I picked up some flowers and brought them to her. It seemed to me that whatever the case, she couldn't really be happy so I planned to just give her flowers and tell her I care then leave. She invited me in. We watched some tv and I saw that the kitchen was a terrible mess, dirty molded pans on the stove. STRANGE!! my wife is a total neat freak. I washed the dishes and cleaned the whole mess up and left for the night.
I really just wanted her to feel better so next day I did something unexpected and showed up at our house with a sled and took her to a hill. We had a BLAST! laughing and having a great time. She invited me back to the house and we sat together until late. I got up to leave and she told me to stay. I slept alone on my sofa and she in our bed.
in the course of the past 3 days she mentioned us in the future tense many times.
Later the next day I was so happy. I called too much, maybe 3 times and she really got upset.
She said she had a great time and loved every second of it but she says she does not want me to think I can come around when ever I want or call her like that.
Argh!
What I don't get is that when we dated six years ago there were no rules or chains. We felt things and enjoyed it and never held anything back.
How can we do it like this with all this constraint. If she feels crowded by me, how can we again live together?
If she feels crowded by me, how can we again live together?
If she feels crowded by me, how can we again live together?
If she feels crowded by me, how can we again live together?
I really don't know how this works but I am sure someone does.
She's unsure of herself, this is normal. You have to wait for her to come to you which means keep your distance and let her make all the moves. Feelings take time to change and if you are too eager it turns her off. Just leave the ball in her court the whole time and don't make any moves towards her. Do not pursue.
She needs to miss you. You have a good start but you have to wait and it sucks and it will hurt. I have to do the same thing. I'm now trying to think of myself and things I want to do with my spare time instead of what my W is doing/thinking and it's not easy. This will be a long road and there's just no quick fix or answers.
Me:38 W:40 Bomb/EA 03/08 Recon twice 1/09 W files for D Story
