When do the tears go away ?

[cz946]

Hi Whit,

I too know what you mean. Some of my hardest days are the ones that I have my d. Especially after she goes to bed. I spend the rest of the night thinking about xw.

"I just will never get how my W does not even want to talk about it. But that is why we are all here...."

In my case my XW tried. It was me that didn't want to recognize there was a problem. So I am guessing your XW probably tried before ever mentioning a word about D. Basically she tried and it didn't work, so she has written this part of her life off. I am guessing yours did as well!!! I have read your post and you seem to put most of the blame on her. Maybe she senses that, and that why she's not talking.

My XW is willing to talk about R and we do almost everytime we are together. Sometimes positive and sometimes negitive. Which I will work to change, I want her to remember the good things. She is always clear in stating that its both are faults and she can't go back. She always says she wants to be my friend and that it. She as moved on. This hurts, but its expected, she is protecting her hurt.

I get advise from family & friends all the time. They say I should cut all communication. Show her its all or nothing. I don't know what road to take. I have tried in the past to cut communication and find that I am to weak. She sends me a txt after a few days and I respond. And its usually something about d5, but that gets the communication going, and i want more.

The one thing that I have learned with the LRT is that she is much better at them than me. I am always wanting more, but she is in the drivers seat. My XW has stated that she felt alone for two years and abandoned. So I worry about cutting off all communication, thinking that this would only validate what she thought all along.

So I say, send your xw a txt. Just to say hi. Maybe she'll respond maybe not. I would leave it at that though, don't push.

Just a thought!

Good luck man, be strong and do some good today!!
CZ