Life in the Rough - Practice That Swing!

[1hope]

Locked another one.

Thanks for your comments WCW, as always you make me stop and think.

To answer your questions, yes, he would have called me back. My real H (not the alien) always calls me back, and if one of us is not going to be home in the evening, we communicate that.

I was terribly worried last night, beyond belief. And guess what? He came home about 10:30, drunk. He had been at a bar with the OW's dad, and another guy (both golfing buddies) discussing the drama. Said he didn't call me because he knew I would be pissed.

Poor guy, can't win, can he?

My letter to the OW would not be motive. I did not put anything in the letter that was new or unknown, it was only my closure to her, because I had not spoken to her since I found out the truth. His motive will be that his wife and his best friend had an affair. Not that he is really going to need a motive. If they can't get this guy some help, I know that it will end badly.

I take the whole thing very seriously. I have talked to the authorities and I have removed myself from the situation. I will no longer have any contact with him or her.

I'm sorry that I can't answer your question about salt. We spread salt, but I know there are specific times/areas when chloride must be used. Since your horses will probably be on it you should talk to someone who knows about that. Sorry WCW. I know that we are all trying to keep costs down.

[MT35]

That is best Hope, get as much distance from them as you can! If that is possible! He really needs some sort of help, I am sure if he was walking around the neighborhood with a gun, he needed help before, and adding in the A, I am sure it is sending him over the edge! I do hope for everyone that it ends peacefully and he gets some type of help from somewhere.

I can understand why your H figured you would be mad. Don't blame you a bit for feeling that way too! I understand the worry. Without my H at home, I don't have near the amount of that I did before. I guess out of sight out of mind. Other than New Years Day when he was gone for the 12 hours, if he is out drinking, I don't know about it.

Hope you have a nice day Hope! I am getting excited, last day of work for me!

Take care!

[1hope]

Hi MT, glad you are getting excited about your trip. I hope that you have a wonderful time. Make the most of it and enjoy everything!

The thing that really bothers me about this whole mess is that the reason he was walking around the neighborhood with a gun was because he knew about the A. When the authorities had him in a position to do an evaluation, the OW let him out. She told people that they would work it out together. Well she is dangerously over confident.

Another friend told me the other day that they think she is doing this because she enjoys the attention that it brings to her... the whole "poor me" type of thing.

It all makes me feel bad.

[Babygirl]

that scares me the m and his w. sounds like he is losing it, idk, maybe he isnt handling it as well as we all did, not like we did, we just did things diff. I would love to plow OW over, not her house lol!

i know h has said damned if he does damned if he doesnt. but still, I would rather him call and just tell me the truth, its still dishonest to not call. they dont see that is causes us to distrust them more.

[1hope]

You are so right BG. He isn't handling it well, and that is becoming very obvious. But what most people fail to see is that she is almost as loony as he has become. More I think about it the more I think she is enjoying it all. I sure wish I had been able to hear what was going on in that car as they crashed.

My H just called me. Wanted to see how I was doing. I told him ok and thanked him for the call. He then told me that I didn't deserve what he did to me last night. He said it wasn't right, and said again that he was sorry. He also said the damned if he does, damned if he doesn't thing....right about the same time as I was reading your post. lol

So, I made him a deal. I said that if he just calls me in the future, I won't give him any grief on the phone. He said ok. So, I will have to be sure to hold up my end of the deal.

After all of the worry last night, I shouldn't have any trouble.

[Babygirl]

well good glad you talked about it. thats what i am debating at the moment. I realize H took the abulm of his S pics yesterday when his mom called to have me check a couple of them to see if we had copies of them yet, and it wasnt here. so we asked him about it, he said he had taken it so when ow showed him new pics she had taken they were gonna do it today, he could show her the ones his mom took. mind you, they cant do this at work, cause its a big secret, so that means they have to do it elsewhere, meaning he will be alone with her, breaking one of my boundaries. also knowing she will aske for pics and we know he cant ever tell her no, so he will break his promise to his mom even. I dont know whether to talk to him about it or not. what do you think?

[1hope]

Well, the promise between his mom and him, is between them.

I would not pick a fight with him, but I probably would ask him where they exchanged (if they do) photos. Don't over think it. If he breaks a boundary what are the consequences?

Have you heard from Kel lately?

[Babygirl]

oh i wouldnt say anything about that. and i dont want to pick a fight, if i wanted to do that i would have when i thought about it all yesterday. but i feel something needs to be said about it. and no more sneaking around and lying to me, i cant take anymore of that.

i talked to her yesterday, and then last nite, we were talking and lost power for a while. so i went to bed.

[1hope]

I would want to know if he was lying to me, but only if I was prepared to enforce the boundary. (It sounds to me like you are)

I don't blame you a bit for not wanting the sneaking and lying. All of us deserve better.

[Babygirl]

maybe i should just email him that is calmer, and just say i was aware of how it would have to be, and that i just needed to know what happened. remind my boundaries.

thats why i felt for you h with the damned either way thing sigh.