Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Confused? That's understatement.

I get home, and s10 is still at the library typing his essay and only S11 is there.

So, I grab my usual 12 ounces of relaxation and head downstairs for a smoke and there's a pair of women's shoes by the back door, figured they were BIL's girlfriends. Sit down and out of nowhere comes W. Still looks good. But the truth rears it's ugly head.

Apparently her feelings now is that yes she does miss and think of me, but does not think any of our 'issues' will ever go away, combined with the way things are now. All the while S11 is bombarding the conversation with questions of who he'll be with on what day and really aggitating things. She says she's sorry, and does not want me to move away and is really scared of what will happen as 2/1 draws nearer. Thus, my trust in her is crushed to a pulp once again, and again she's sorry. She's "in too deep with OM" and "it will hurt the kids if she tears them away from another family, of which she can not stay out of contact with OM & his family, should we get back together".

So that's all folks, I'm moving, my house-mate refuses to pay anymore rent which is my grocery money, so I told her to go forth with her plan then, be with him, and the kids are yours after this weekend with me, they need a stable enviornment and this back and forth crap does nothing but hurt and confuse them more.

This statement really cracked me up, "I'm scared of you moving so far away, I want to be friends with you and come over and talk to you when I need to". When you need to? What I'm supposed to be caretaker to all your crap, live in a financial headache of a empty house of broken memories, and be your dirty little secret from OM?!?! Of which, oh by way, beginning promptly at 7pm her cell phone starts going bazerk from texts and calls from OM, guess she exceeded her cerfew.

Just more and more talking in code from her, more of the "It's not like that" crap.

She says she'll be back again tonight to "finish talking". That probably won't happen courtesy of her "loyalty" to OM since she got home late after not only being with me, but she stopped by the library on her way "home" to check in on S10 who stll wasn't back yet, her computer illiterate self managed to delete the poor kid's report and apparently it was unretievable. Her solution, "call him in sick to school". Right.

So, if she does end up popping up tonight, we'll see where it goes from there. "Be Strong" LD? I'm being strong, I'm sticking to my guns and the clock is ticking. I guess she learned a new poker face the other day, at least now I can see through that face to the cards being dealt.

Funny parts: she heeds no worry to the fact that when OM wakes up finding himself a full time parent and 'family man', he's gonna bolt so damn fast the door will torn off the hinges. And the need to be friends with her al beit she is "too committed to OM to leave him", hah, you expect me to be friends with the very person in herself that took my whole life and family away from me? eff that.