Seeing things for what they really are... #52

[mishka422]

I wouldn't say he is satisfied K, he's just coping - just like you are. Excitement? Is there supposed to be excitement in M? Don't those feelings only last a short time and then the hum drum of daily life kicks in for the rest of the R? Miss him? Well, I would hope you don't miss him like you did when he first left. That would be devastating. You have learned to live your life without him so having him there is just a bonus. Numb? That I understand. I live my life in as much numbness as possible so I don't have to feel the pain. I don't think you are doing anything wrong just because you aren't feeling anything. You are still in limboland.

Please find another counselor. If you didn't like her then there is really no point in going back to her. Find another one. Shop around. You need to be comfortable with whoever you are seeing. Also, are you still going to IC? If not, why not? I really feel you need that still.

I have nothing but total respect for your determination to stick this out so that in the end, whatever that may bring, you will have no regrets.