Oh my, I actually now saw your response, so sorry for such a late response. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. To answer your question, I do live in the US, but my H and I are from a different country. To be honest, I personally DON'T think either that a marriage can survive with more than two partners, and in our country affairs are so prevalent that it's sickening. To be honest, my father also had a child outside of his marriage and so does my husband's father so I feel like this crap is just haunting me. But, I KNOW I would never be happy with my H still having an affair with OW so I do know for us to work that she would need to be out of the picture, and he would need to commit only to the marriage. With that said, I do believe that he and I had a special relationship before all of this. Funny thing is that my H has done some really disgusting things but I still feel like that is just not his true character. I try to balance this feeling to make sure that I'm not being dillusional, and I know actions speaks louder. At the same time, I do see the flaws in our relationship that has lead to this (in addition to our culture that gives the impression that infedility on a man's part is ok). So for now, I'm just taking it cool and see what happens. I've read DR and have been doing some 180s like not pursuing him, etc. There are times that I feel hopeless that like you said H will always have a special place in his heart for the OW and that makes me feel like giving up and moving on, but its hard to move on right away after being with him over 14 years. So, I actually don't know how my sitch will end but I'm trying to stay as positive as I can and to stay busy and take care of me.
