Remember alcoholics are master manipulators. He maybe saying the 'us' stuff to keep you satisfied and not moving on your own. He knows that if he throws a few crumbs your way its enough to keep you pacified. I hate sounding harsh but its what they do. Your H doesn't want to quit drinking, he doesn't want to give up OW completely and he doesn't want to do the essential work to reconcile your M.
I am almost 6 months out. I still hurt alot but now I look back at all the crap I endured for so long. How long I looked away at the behaviors that are so unacceptable. The drinking for one. I thought I could love H enough so he would quit. Didn't happen. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. So if he doesn't get help then its only going to get worse. The infidelity and his need for external validation...I looked away for so long. I begged, pleaded, threatened and pretended like it wasn't happening. I thought if I stopped nagging he would see what a prize wife I was and give her up. Didn't happen. I don't see all of this happening for you either.
I look back now and am disgusted with the crap I put up with for so many years. I hate what I put my older kids through, and am happy baby will not have to see it. In no way, shape or form is alcoholism and infidelity healthy for a child. D4 will realize it.
So what if your H sleeps in his car, or ends up with OW! Yes, it hurts like hell but who wants to be second fiddle to a bottle or a loser like OW? You are much better than that!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
