I AM doing more for me and am not too worried about what W is doing.
Maybe you are, but that's not what's coming across on here, at least to me. And I'm wondering if you're conveying that same sense to your wife, in which case you're not sufficiently detached.
Our goal is "lovingly detached" -- you still sound angry (and justifiably so, don't get me wrong), and enmeshed. That's not a good combination.
