Well, you say you got "sucked in", but then you say that you WANT to do this to have a working, peaceful relationship. So, I'm not sure if you want to be more than her friend, or you want to just have a friendship. You know?
The message she gets each and every time you have these nice conversations is that you are still friends and you are "ok" and even though she did what she did, you will still have that relationship with her that she needs. So, she gets her lover with someone else; and you, the person that knows her like no one else and will be there for her no matter what. AND, she knows that if anything changes on her end, you will be RIGHT THERE waiting for her. No consequences.
Unexpected dinner, huh? Let me guess....B.
So, it's a new year.....time for plans. Let's think of some:
1. Divorce wife. Stay friends and good relationship for kids. Move on. Go out with A, B, and maybe C. No more limbo.
2. Deal with W only when dealing about kids. Let wife see life without h4h and miss it. Pray for her. Get counsel from others and pray together for her. Focus on your kids and home life. Don't rescue wife anymore from her sadness, don't make her feel ok when she feels bad about her life now, etc. If she doesn't come back to the marriage, after doing this for a length of time (and don't say you have been doing this, because you haven't for more than a day), decide what you will do. Take control of your situation.
3. Remain in limbo.
Boy, I sound hard today....but, I'm just trying to help. What do you think, h4h? ARen't you glad I'm back?
