The ITH household is quiet. Things have remained positive since we've been back, at least from my perspective. There is now more physical affection than there was before the New Years trip. I think there was a step change up, and now we are on a pleasant plateau. Steps at this point are still baby steps, but I don't mean to minimize them.
Yesterday, for example, H asked me to put together a new budget. I had been putting this off as I didn't want to deal with the possibility of him wanting budget for his own place, etc. I feel good about putting together a budget, though I am still nervous that doing it too far into the future will open a discussion that I don't want to enter into right now. We talked about a couple of money related things on IM, about spending less etc., and it felt like we were being real with each other, something I haven't felt much in awhile. H went out to drinks after work, but texted me a few times, including once to let me know he was on the train. It just felt normal, which I appreciate. He hugged me a couple of times when he got home.
Next week I go to the US for 5 nights without H, then we meet in LA afterwards, then head to Mexico. Of course I am nervous about this 5 days that H will have to himself, and hope that there are no more emotional emails, no meltdowns etc. My greatest hope is that he really misses me while I am gone. At least I will be pretty busy myself, so I should enjoy the time. I always think it is worse being the one at home than the one traveling.
Other than this, no real updates. I am doing slightly better at work I think, and can go for long stretches of time without obsessing about the situation. Every once in awhile though something reminds me of the summer and I feel really dark. At least these times are becoming fewer...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
