He made a reference to one of our favorite shows, "arrested development", and I told him I'd been getting into "30 rock". He mentioned that alex baldwin came to the summer camp he taught at this summer, and I got excited and asked jokingly, "did you get to... lick him?" B said that baldwin was actually kind of a dick.
We got to the subway and I waited while he reloaded his card. Then I said, "it was great to see you!" and we had another slightly-more-torso-contact hug. I told him I hoped he had fun with his friend coming to visit, and preparing with his quartet for their trip this weekend. He wished me luck with my cello teacher stuff, and I said, "see you around!" and turned around and walked away.
I went down the stairs and realized after a few moments that he was waiting on the opposite side of the platform... but a few feet down and with his back turned to me. I tried to watch him out of the corner of my eye... I felt so sad. I didn't know what to do with myself so I also turned away. I looked back and saw that he had turned to watch a percussionist performing on upside-down buckets (classic subway instrument), and I felt envious that he had something to pretend to watch! I couldn't see his face, it was obscured by pipes running under the ceiling of the subway right at eye level between the platforms... then my train came.
In retrospect, I'm not sure how I did--or why it felt so hard. I didn't prepare a list of fun topics to discuss, I was just trying to stay focused on what he was saying and calm myself down. As soon as it was over I thought of all these fun, silly things I could have told him.
I think it was OK--definitely not as awkward as weird as our meeting in August, but without the length or spontaneous singing of our meeting in June. It's just so anticlimactic to not see him for 5 months and then see him once for a little bit over 2 hours. And on the way home i was like, DAMNIT! I should have shown off my sexy shoulders!!
I'm not sure where to go from here. Before he texted me to set up the meeting, I basically felt like doing nothing. Now I do not know how to proceed.
