Anyone have an MLC'er Living At Home?

[Dawn of Hope]

Yep, been there, done that on the "clinging to the edge of the mattress" thing. H and I slept in the same bed without touching (which NEVER happened before the bomb) for nearly a year before he finally left in November. I had times I would intentionally take up a bit more than my fair share of the bed to see what he'd do, and he never touched me (not on purpose). Sometimes I was tempted to just lie smack in the middle of the bed just to press the issue, but I never quite worked up the guts for that.

Thinking, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Every time you find out something new, it's a punch to the gut, but as the things you find get worse, at least the lesser things don't bother you nearly as much. For example, my H maintained (until I stopped asking, which was pretty quick) that there was no sex involved with OW (whom he met on the computer game Second Life first, and then later in person). After the bomb (when he came back from their first time meeting in RL and I confronted him), first I found erotic videos he had taken of himself (and never mentioned to me) between the time they met online and their first in-person meeting. That was rough. Then I found screen shots of their avatars (computer characters representing them) in SL making the beast with two backs, and I was just about destroyed (although you gotta wonder...what physical gratification is there in sex between two computer characters? Maybe it's a guy thing?). Then later on I found proof that their EA had also become a full-blown PA in RL as well as SL, and I just fell apart. One of the things I was thinking was how minor an issue the screen shots I had seen seemed now, compared with his having cheated on me in every sense of the word in RL.

Soooo...I don't know if that helps or not. I guess I'm just trying to say that these punches in the gut are going to happen when you deal with an MLCer, from everything I've seen. They have a real talent for doing the things that will hurt us the most and then pouring on entire cartons of salt. It really bites, but you just need to cry, scream, vent here, whatever you need to do (away from him) to help you get through it, and then move forward. And it nearly always gets worse before it gets better, so there is no question you are going to be tested to your very limits.

Gosh, the more I write, the less I feel I'm helping, which is not what I intended! If nothing else I've said is helpful, just remember that I and others are thinking of you and praying for you, and you can always come here and get help. Be kind to yourself.

Peace and blessings,
Dawn