Please, I hope there's someone out there to talk me off the ledge. I'm not really THAT upset, just sick to my stomach. Something just happened to add one more thing...
My daughter uses my hubby's laptop sometimes and she was having some problems with pop-ups tonight. So I took over and started running some spybot software to clean things up. You can guess what if found. I found some fairly digusting sites in the history files.
I had to wake him to ask permission to delete his history files and he acted surprised as to 'why'. When I was done, I woke him again to tell him I set up Firefox and Navigator to delete the history when the application is closed, "if you're going to look at those sites, please use those browsers so the kids don't see them". A fair request, but he was first acted very surprised (What was I talking about?) and then was very defensive. Then he rolled over to go back to sleep (in a huff if that's possible).
This really shouldn't surprise me and I'm really not that upset. It just adds another thing to the pile. But now I know why he has absolutely NO interest in me anymore. If there's any guys out there that can comment, I'm interested.
The standing on the ledge feeling or punched in the stomach feeling is the worst. I'm so sorry your going through this.
You did excellent confronting him in a calm manner.
He looks at you as an authoritive figure and the cause of his unhappiness. He is a teenager right now. Running, withdrawing and rebelling all over again. His feelings for you are still there, but they are burried deep. Way too many powerful emotions that he doesn't understand are in play. He can barely handle the way he is feeling and is not capable of dealing with yours.
Porn is a fantasy. I'm sure low self esteem and control are big players as well. Just as they are in MLC. Remember He is a teenager right now.
