I don't ever think I have posted to you, but I have followed you for awhile and I love your posts. I love the way you write and the way you are so candid about your journey, and what has gone on in your situation.
What you describe here, this "click" that you had, is an amazing thing. So many people never get to this place. This place of grace and compassion and empathy. To be able to see your H's perspective on this...in the face of your frustration and anger in wanting to get your car registered, you instead confront how you have contributed to his anger and frustration. To push away the inclination, dare I say, the need that we often have to make them the bad guy, to make them the crazy one, in order to elevate us to "right" so that we can feel good about ourselves again in the face of so much pain.
It's such a hard, hard thing to do...to find grace, to find empathy...but it's the only way. The only way to forgive, our spouse and ourselves. And that, in turn, is the only way to truly heal.
