I understand your frustration w/knowing xBF is struggling and you are feeling helpless to help him. He's drowning and you want desperately to reach in and help him out of the water. It is a very natural reaction and emotion.
But deep down, you know full well if you reach into the water to help him, he'll do nothing but pull you in and make you drown w/him.
You've got to find a way to allow him to go through his struggle w/out your help. I'm glad you are feeling better after the session w/your T and I hope you can keep moving it forward.
There isn't anything you can do for him. He has to do it for himself.
However, he's noticed your changes and they have him curious as well as wanting more of you. He is understanding he misses you. He is thinking of how to get back. All of this is good.
If you "help" him to come back, all will be lost. If the decision isn't made 100% by him, it isn't valid. He is lost and must find his own way home for it to have any lasting value and significance for him for the long haul.
It is also very easy to be blue during this time of the year. I'm right there w/you, to tell the truth. I was very down, jumped up a bit, then realized I wasn't happy either (haven't spelled it out on my thread this week, but I will).
The end of the year is a wonderful time for togetherness, so give yourself kudos for "surviving" the Holidays '08 and put your focus on the new you in '09.
I will say, keep using this place to vent and flush things out. We'll get on you and tell you to "snap out of it" etc., but you'll probably find it healthy for you to use us to work things out w/you.
This place is a wonderful sounding board for your soul as all you need to do is tell the community how much you are hurting and the support, love, caring, and a few 2X4s will come in faster than you ever realize.
So, I'm pretty sure there aren't many who will let you get away w/blaming yourself for xBF's issues and we'll all keep an eye on our little Princess.
