I know I am new at this so I am not real confident in giving advice yet but I will tell you this from my experience in the past.
H and I seperated 4 years ago for 18 months. It was not due to an A at that time. When I finally got him back home I did ask one day why it took so long for him to decided to come back.
His response.......you let me move out.
I guess he felt he was getting me back by dragging out the reconciliation. He knew he wanted to come back for a while but could not get over the fact that I had just let him leave.
I am not sure when it comes to your sitch but I thought I should share that with you.
