Thanks:) I was hoping I had done that right. It actually felt kinda good that I was able to actually do that. Made me proud of myself:)
So here comes the weird stuff again....I hadn't heard from H since I left his house early this afternoon. I was fixing my hair about 30 minutes ago and my phone rings. It's H.
He asked what I was doing and I told him. Then I asked what he was doing. He said "sitting on the curb". I chuckled a bit and asked what he meant.
He said "you kicked me smooth to the curb this afternoon". I said "what do you mean"? He said "you came to pick up D7 and flew out of here like you had flames coming out of your behind".
I laughed to myself. I knew it was gonna get to him. I said "I had some things I needed to do". And I left it at that.
He picked at me about it for a little bit. I wasn't real sure how to respond when he kept picking and I kept thinking about things I had read on here but my mind wasn't working fast enough so I just kinda changed the subject.
Some days I just wanna smack him back into reality!
Hi pooh, start that book, he is prime for Plan A/Plan B. He is actually flirting with you. Need to take that quiz for emotional needs and start seeing what they are so you can act on them. Limit contact till you read the book.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Ok...I have started reading the book. Had to stop to put D7 to bed but going to read some more of it tonight. The needs might be a little tough to figure out. I know he is not a real big "physical" person. He likes the ego stroked. Will have to think on it a bit when I do the quiz.
Not sure if he will call again tonight or not. Guess it depends on when he is finished talking to OW. The interesting part comes this weekend when he has D7. He always inquires about what I am going to be doing when he has her. Any suggestions on what to say without telling him what I am doing?
Try to read through the chapter about the quiz and take the quiz for him. Go with your gut feeling which are usually right. You will get a better idea of what is EN are. Then you need to apply to the top 5.
Stop worrying if he will call. No expectations. You can only control your actions at this point.
What are you doing for yourself? Have you been GALing? Have you made any plans for the weekend while your D is with your H? Be vague with your H about your weekend plans. Be playful if he asks eg. Laugh and say "why do you want to know?" Let him know that you are moving on with your life and that you are happy. Turn the question around with him and ask him what plans are you doing with our D. Suggest a movie your D might want to see. I hope he does not bring your D around the OW.
take care.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Not sure that I am doing much for myself right now. I mean I have D7 full time so I do things with her but when she is not with me I find things to do to stay away from the house and keep myself occupied.
Haven't gone on any dates lately. Not in the mood for any of that. H thinks that I do...but that is good for him:)
I will try the weekend response you suggested this weekend and see how that works. I try real hard to keep expectations out of my head about his calling. Did real good with that this morning and guess what...he called me on the way to my job. Messed with me again about leaving so quickly from his house yesterday and he said I would probably do the same thing today. I just changed the subject again.
I had asked him yesterday if he was going to use today as his "weekday" with D7 and he really did not give me an answer. So today when I got off work I was heading to his house to pick her up and he called when I was about 2 minutes away.
I told him I was heading that way to pick her up and he said "I told you I was going to go ahead and keep her for today." NO HE DID NOT! But I remained calm and just said "ok that is cool...I can turn around and head back home."
He said "no...you might as well come by and at least say hi...besides that D7 has something she made in school that she wants you to see."
I know I shouldn't have done it but I went over there. I stayed about 20 minutes and that was it. He talked small talk and was looking at me again. So I gave D7 some love and left.
Yes he does bring D7 around OW. They have to sneak and do it though. He has a routine where he takes D7 to a specific restaraunt on either Friday or Saturday night and she will come up there to meet him.
The bad part is...she brings her H's S5 with her! Well the S5 slipped up and made a comment to OW's H and apparantely OW was able to save it and nothing came of it.
Anyhow this got me and H into a BIG fight because I told H that everytime he takes D7 around OW like that he is putting D7 at risk. Who knows what OW's H would do if he ever catches them together and he is not going to care that there is kids around.
So H has promised not let D7 and OW be in the same room together. So we will see.
PB, First -- DO NOT let your D see the OW. Without exception. Get on the phone to an atty immediately and put it in writing. Not acceptable. There is no good reason that your child should have to deal with that. Your h and OW are trying to play house and be cute showing off each other kids. 2nd -- this OW is MARRIED? Did you expose to OWH?? How dare she bring her child from her married household to meet your H. Do you know anything about her, name, where she lives. The A is very exciting because it is not exposed. Does his family know what he is doing?? Time to get on the phone and let them know that your H is having an A. Once the ugliness comes out in the open it takes away the thrill. Just because your H does not live with you does not give him the right to take your D around her. Not acceptable. I am sure the OW H would love to know what is going on. keep us posted.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I agree 100% that it is not acceptable for H to be taking D7 around OW. D7 does let me know if she is taken around OW now. I will not tolerate that for 1 minute.
Yes OW is also married. She is a skank. I found out about her by checking H's phone records one year ago this month. Saw the same # several times a day so I called it. It was a business that she runs. Could not get her on the phone and I did not leave a message.
Confronted H about her and he said he went to school with her and she is M for 21 years now. I did some digging at marriage licenses and found out he was lying to me or she was lying to him because she has only been M for 8 years now.
The child she takes around my H is her H's son. She only has 1 child who is 16. H and her "dated" in high school.
I found out her last name and did some more digging and found out an address. Went there a couple of times but could never catch her H at home alone.
She is a coward. After I found out they were talking I followed my H one night when he thought I was home and caught them meeting up in a parking lot. I blocked them both in and confronted her but she rolled up her windows and locked the doors. Refused to get out.
After I moved out I started worrying about finances. I have a truck that is only 2 years old and was afraid I would not be able to pay for it alone and at the time did not have CS established so H "made a deal" with me stating that he would make the payment as long as I did not tell OW H and stir up a bunch of stuff. I felt I had no choice at that time.
Well since then I threatened to tell him again when I found out about him taking D7 around her and he said I would see vindictive if I tell. He said he would not pay CS and would not work if he had to just to avoid paying.
I did talk to my lawyer about it. He obviously has to find a way to pay the CS. I told H he would only be hurting D7.
But he is so far in the fog with that skank that he can't see straight. I debated for a long while about telling the OW's H. I feel he has a right to know but I am just scared to do it.
H's mom lives up north and I called her and told her about it but H denys it all to her. Says they are just friends. All other friends and family know about it already. His "buddies" don't seem to mind.
I think somehow the OW H needs to be told. I am sure he has an idea that something is up, all he probably needs is a brief call saying his wife is having an affair with your husband. it does not have to be you that makes the call. if u choose to call, black your number from appearing on caller id. then, your husband has no proof that you made the call.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
OW H does have some idea that something is going on because my H told me a couple of times that OW would be at a job and her H would just show up without her knowing he was coming. Also I read in some of their text messages a couple times where OW would mention that her H was accusing her of an A but had no proof.
OW's H works with her. She owns the business and gets jobs and then sends him out to do them.
I do not have a phone # for OW's H. I wish I did cause I would have called him in the beginning instead of trying to catch him at home. The house phone # that I ended up getting goes straight to a fax.
They both have cell phones and as far as I know there is no way to get those #'s.
well, there has got to be a way for you to get the number. there just has to be. have u searched the internet? i just learned that if u type the person's name in quotes, u may get it. have u tried reverse look ups? u can get access to cell phone numbers - although u may have to pay. if u have an idea maybe of what cell phone service they use, u can go to the service provider location and ask someone that works there to help you out - i have done it, and they will. all u need is their name.
or, try typing the fax number in a reverse look up, it may pull up their names and list other numbers. you can also reverse look-up their address, which may give u the phone number.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
