I won't do the dating thing, but you are right it is tempting I have a few chances now but don't even entertain the idea. Just a bit lonely even though I keep busy it's not the same. Blah Blah Blah is right
Thanks Man
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
Hey, Jeff, Sounds like you are doing well, all things considered. Try to detach from her back-and-forth stuff. It will NOT be a steady pace for improvement in the sitch, it's more of a dance, so be prepared...three steps forward, two steps back. Look for overall trends, not the daily switcheroos in her attitude. Try to focus on what you can do to find pieces of yourself that might have gotten lost along the way.
I think you are really starting to get the hang of this, though. I know it is all so hard, every day, but if you want to come out the other side of this, you can't go over, under, or around the tough work--the only way out is THROUGH.
I'm glad to hear you have been working with Jody. She is my DB coach too--I've had six sessions with her, and I'd get more if I had bucks to spare! She is so great, and so helpful--I always feel so much more hopeful after I talk with her, and more confident about my course of action. You can't go wrong with following her advice--she can really cut through to the heart of the matter!
Do what you need to do to recharge your batteries regularly for this marathon. Find fun things to do without her, alone or with friends--so you don't have to have that mask on and can relax and just enjoy yourself. Hang in there, keep up the good work!
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I don't have a current thread... I have come along way since 2004 when it all happened for me. There is nothing really to tell. I don't see or talk to ex at all...he is still arrogant and mean towards me when I assert myself and I will not tolerate that. I am very happy in my life. It took long while to get here but I love it now....thanks for asking tho. I am sorrry that yours sounds so much like mine..."The why don't ya date and have sex"and the conversations on the phone when I was home it was too crazy and a rollercoaaster for me..It was like walking on eggshells at times and I ended up in a hospital for 7 days. When I got out I did what I did to perserve me, I asked him to leave while he was talking to me about his prostitue junkie girlfriend I couldn't go on . I didn't find this website til Novemeber of that year...2005 but it probably would not have helped, he made his mind up to divorce and we divorced...he pushed no matter what I tried. But it was the best thing for me.
I am very happy and that is all that matters right now to me. You are very strong. You are doing really good to with stand the calls you wife makes...Just keep doing what you are doing it makes YOU better in the crazy times...and they do get crazy. I can understand where you are at .. ex used to make calls in my presence and it is just so unbelieveable what they do and what they say. Just keep posting what is happening and we are here to help ya.. ITSY
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Jeff stay the course. No dating, but you know that. I think your w is having the convo in your ear shot so you do overhear her. Kind of like testing and pushing buttons. Let's see what he says or does.
It's tough, but this is where you don't say a word and go on with your happy life regardless of what she is doing.
Remember love from a distance for now. No expectations, they are so confused and you get exhausted trying to figure out what direction are they headed now.
Stay strong. You can do this. Nice work, picking up those groceries.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Guys I just wanted to say that my xh is constantly telling me to go on with my life and find someone. We are divorced (this only started almost 4 months ago now, and yes he wanted a quick divorce, so he could move on without the quilt of cheating), and he tells me this alot. It's like he is praying I will find someone else. When I ask why he is in such a hurry for me to move on, he says so I will leave him alone and give him space. He says I am trying to push a friendship on him. He told me to move on early in the seperation, I personally think its because he felt so guilty. Should I move on? From what you said above, it removes guilt from him and makes it easier for him. We are divorced, but I am still praying to reconcile, especially since it happened all at once and its not been that long. I am, not contacting him,,,its only been a day, but I have to start sometime.
Guys I just wanted to say that my xh is constantly telling me to go on with my life and find someone. We are divorced (this only started almost 4 months ago now, and yes he wanted a quick divorce, so he could move on without the quilt of cheating), and he tells me this alot. It's like he is praying I will find someone else. When I ask why he is in such a hurry for me to move on, he says so I will leave him alone and give him space. He says I am trying to push a friendship on him. He told me to move on early in the seperation, I personally think its because he felt so guilty. Should I move on? From what you said above, it removes guilt from him and makes it easier for him. We are divorced, but I am still praying to reconcile, especially since it happened all at once and its not been that long. I am, not contacting him,,,its only been a day, but I have to start sometime.
Guys I just wanted to say that my xh is constantly telling me to go on with my life and find someone. We are divorced (this only started almost 4 months ago now, and yes he wanted a quick divorce, so he could move on without the quilt of cheating), and he tells me this alot. It's like he is praying I will find someone else. When I ask why he is in such a hurry for me to move on, he says so I will leave him alone and give him space. He says I am trying to push a friendship on him. He told me to move on early in the seperation, I personally think its because he felt so guilty. Should I move on? From what you said above, it removes guilt from him and makes it easier for him. We are divorced, but I am still praying to reconcile, especially since it happened all at once and its not been that long. I am, not contacting him,,,its only been a day, but I have to start sometime.
Guys I just wanted to say that my xh is constantly telling me to go on with my life and find someone. We are divorced (this only started almost 4 months ago now, and yes he wanted a quick divorce, so he could move on without the quilt of cheating), and he tells me this alot. It's like he is praying I will find someone else. When I ask why he is in such a hurry for me to move on, he says so I will leave him alone and give him space. He says I am trying to push a friendship on him. He told me to move on early in the seperation, I personally think its because he felt so guilty. Should I move on? From what you said above, it removes guilt from him and makes it easier for him. We are divorced, but I am still praying to reconcile, especially since it happened all at once and its not been that long. I am, not contacting him,,,its only been a day, but I have to start sometime.
