Organizing my Life

BM
So glad to hear you were able to see your daughter and grandchildren. It is so hard when they live so far and we can't be part of their everyday lives. I have no grandchildren but my daughters live far and i do miss them.
You say you accept the way your husband is, was he ever more emotionally connected? I might need to take a lesson from you and just accept what h can give and not expect more. Do you ever wonder if you will get back to the way you were when you both loved each other? Do you think that it is possible? I really wonder if it is in my sitch and also if I can accept it being less than what it was.

[BeingMe]

I'm baaaack! We arrived home on Saturday night after a 3 day drive. We slept over in a couple of small towns, the names of which I cannot remember. If any of you live in Nebraska, or Wyoming, or South Dakota, or Montana, or Iowa .... please tell me .... WHY? And what do y'all do there? Mind you, I saw hardly anyone there, so I guess you all live on big ranches or something. I saw many horse trailers, lots of cattle and even sheep. And, a lot of sky! I mean I live in a country where if the whole population stepped over into these states, we would barely be noticed (we have a small population here in Canada), but we do have the excuse that most of our country is cold, especially up north.

Anyway, we had a good time visiting with family. Returned with D16 and myself in the depths of awful colds/coughs. Ugh! So, if any of you in Nebraska see an epidemic of colds in the next week, that was probably us passing through. Sorry! You can say thanks to one of your air force sergeants passing that on to us. Thanks S-I-L .... um, not.

I will think about your question, bizarre, and answer later.

[WCW]

I saw many horse trailers, lots of cattle and even sheep. And, a lot of sky!

Isn't it great?!!!

When I drive thru big cities and residential areas I ask the same question - If you live there, why? I have an aversion for all that concrete.

Different strokes for different folks. Be glad not everyone wants to live in your place, and I'm glad not everyone wants to live in mine. Although with all the new houses and urban sprawl it feels like it.

[BeingMe]

Oh,don't get me wrong, WCW! I love wide, empty spaces. I just wondered where all the people were. I guess they're all in Omaha City, 'eh!? We live in a very small town and I have always dreamed of living on a farm or ranch or even an acreage. But, I am happy with where I am now. We actually have a big enough plot around the corner from us where the owner, a lawyer, has alpacas. Cool! The only real traffic is when the ferry disgorges itself. Haha! Darn ferries.

I actually thought of you when I saw all those horse trailers and wondered if this was the type of life you live. You always sound so satisfied and content with that part of your life.

Anyway, it was quite an experience driving through that part of the country. Don't think I'd like to do it in winter again with that wind blowing the dry snow across the roads. Eeek!

Take care.

[ACJ]

Happy New Year BM. glad you are back safely and that you enjoyed your trip.

[Aud31]

I'm glad you made it home! And that you got to enjoy time with your loved ones. Hope all is well.

[Phoenix_spark]

"Missed her by that much..."

You can keep the cold though.

[BeingMe]

Thanks Aud! Just came home with an awful cold, after D16 having same. She is fine though, but I'm still sneezing and coughing. Waaaa! I want my mommy! S21 is a good replacement though ... good, not great! Aw, he is taking care of me, best a young man can.

[Aud31]

Yucko colds...I have one too. Glad your boy is good to help!:)

[BeingMe]

Here's something I wrote in regard to my sitch on someone else's thread. This doesn't happen very often, but every now and then, my H gets this way, and it makes me so mad in that moment. Then I try and let it go - one of my goals in life is to let IT go. I just don't know how to respond. He gets really passionate about this, and angry at himself. I wonder if he's depressed. He can't seem to relax or have fun. There are times I walk on eggshells, but not sure why. He's not one who
can settle into a job longer than 2 years (since leaving our homeland), but it's getting shorter and shorter. He also mentioned recently at how much he misses home, but there is nothing there for us. He knows this. I feel sometimes that he is toxic to our R, that he is white knuckling it, and I don't want a R like that. I have to give this some thought.

Oh gosh, yes. We are the psychic readers of our spouses, predetermining every wish, every need, every desire. We must always be strong and 'there' for them, while we get nothing (although my H seems to have changed in this regard to some extent). I still get the bored look when talking about my interests, while he can go on and on about his work and other stuff and I must be endlessly interested (which I usually am because I care about him). At this time in my life when I am going through some scary health issues, now he wants to talk about how unhappy he is, and how everything he touches turns to sh!t (sorry, his words)? One thing that can cause seizures is stress, so now I am worried about him, but trying not to stress out. Let me point out, he chose this career, he chose to travel, he chose all this (and we, his family, just has to fit into his plans), he wanted to come here where it ended up being difficult to travel from (for another great job) and now when it's not quite working out perfectly (the weather at this time) he wants to complain? He should be grateful for the excellent job he has, IMHO, at this time when the economy sucks.