my concern is that i think he still lies to her to keep her around. i guess i dont know for sure, but its what i think.
should i stop asking him about her? im afraid if i do, it will start to get to him. and im afraid if i dont, it will continue.
I wouldn't be surprised if he is lying to her, and probably she to him. They say something like cheaters are all liars (I'm terrible at exact quotes sorry). When the OW first rode in H's car he had to clean it out for 2 days or something to make it presentable so she wouldn't find out he was a total slob (and the only reason it didn't take weeks is b/c it was a new car). So they have their fake little selves, on their best behavior, etc. But I do think in time the masks will slip, and your H will realize what the OW is really like and she will realize about him. The fantasy perfect life is just a dream and not reality.
I think you're right if you ask him about her, you will irritate him and it won't accomplish anything positive. You saying something probably won't help it to continue or not continue. I think 90% or something of these As end at some point, and with the crazy OW it's just a matter of when not if. Karen
