Hi Jon. You caught me checking as I have the afternoon off, otherwise, I'm not around much.
Things are stable and progressing. We had a MC session last Friday to talk about what and when to tell the kids and I basically said that I'm not about to say anything that sounds like I want this divorce and then I blew up BOOM!! Saying that for the last year of MC it's all been about what a jerk I am and what I've done wrong and how I haven't seen her working on this marriage etc. I guess that I felt safe enough to vent though I doubt she heard me.
My W expressed that she is pretty scared about some of my coping strategies. They aren't for publication, but, they are mentally taking actions that aren't survivable. I explained to her again and to my MC again that I'm in no way ready to depart, but, I darned sure need a way to deal with the hurt and while she may feel like she's going through this by herself, she has her new relationship. I refuse to go chasing after one just to ease the pain.
I want to move on. The kids are doing pretty well and I talked to her family and asked them to reach out to her and to offer her their support. Beyond that, I want there to be finality one direction or another. Oh, don't misunderstand. I still love her.
This morning, I sent her a good morning text message that she told me made her smile. Then, there's a part of me that thinks I'm stupid for doing things like that, while another part of me figures that's just who I am and part A is going to have to get used to it.
Anniversary number 15 is today. Yeah me. On Tuesday, I was pretty screwed up about it. I was thinking about sending flowers, but, I've changed my mind. I had asked a couple of weeks back what she wanted to do, perhaps we could have dinner and she thought that would be weird, so, instead I plan to spend the weekend just like last weekend, with the kids and out at the bar trying to get some pretty young girl to take me home
I got the load approval for the house I want and now comes the work of beating the banks down in a short sale. Yes, banks plural, there is a first and second mortgage on the property. It's part of moving on anyway.
Morning (((Dan))): Just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I know how hard the "A" day is...and I hope that you can get through it with some peace.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Awww, (((Julia))) I was looking for your Christmas greetings in RL.
I caught your updates here and I'm glad you sent FIL/MIL a card. In my opinion, be their adopted daughter as long as it feels OK and send them cards and thoughtful things even if things with your H don't work out.
YES, Dan has been on a couple of dates. The first was with a nice woman originally from Sussex. She was nice, but, too much of a hippy for my tastes. Then, I spent a month e-mail and then calling and texting back and forth with V. Now, I'm finding myself in something of a quandary. I made a vow to myself that I would not get into any kind of exclusive LTR for at least 2 years. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a monk, but, no LTR.
Wouldn't you know it, the second woman I date is pretty awesome at least on first blush.
Here's the highlights. Blue eyes, 5'10" 145lbs certified yoga instructor who is fluent in 3 languages supervises 11 people at the hospital has 2 undergraduate degrees and is working on her MBA. She's volunteers at the group home, is a gourmet cook and wine nut, an expert skier and motorcyclist who loves to go dancing. She's 37, has never been married and has no kids. Oh yeah, and she thinks I'm the bomb. That one confuses me a little as she and her girlfriends have a pretty large social circle, they are out dancing frequently and make the charity event rounds. So, I would imagine that she meets lots of cool guys, but, apparently not cooler than me. <shrug>
Now, if I can buy the house and get the new job, things will settle in nicely.
Gees Dan! I just finally caught up and WOW! What a time you're having. Have you been seeing the awesome yoga instructor? She sounds pretty interesting.
Just checking in on you.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
