Hi Julia <HUGS>. I can empathize with your pain and your frustration.
I might have mentioned this before, probably not. Over in the infidelity forum, PuppyDogTails tells about the confrontation he had with his wife. He sat her down and told her that the lying has to stop, that he knew what she was doing and she needed to stop lying to everyone. You will of course have to decide whether this is something that you want to do, but, you've been doing an admirable job of DBing in spite of your H unfaithfulness, yet you aren't seeing the kinds of results you were hoping to see. This is one approach in the face of infidelity and the other is the confrontation. I'll only speak for me. I thought that I could continue my DBing efforts, but, my self-respect got the better of me. Perhaps you've reached that same place. Incidentally, since moving forward, I have a lot less internal turmoil.
