To the Max!!!!

[WCW]

Hi Fixer, nice of you to post. You know how people will someone just snapped? or someone will snap out of it? Well, my H snapped in the 3rd week of Sept 2003. I could tell a distinct difference in him, although it was May 2004 before I understood the owreason for his snap.

Thanks for the list of suggestions, and I don't think it's crazy or cruel. You'll see why by my answers.

I would give her a quick hug and go to bed early. Check!
Sometime I would burn scented candles before she came home. Check!
Sometime I would burn scented candles in the bedroom Check!
Cook fish for dinner (she doesn't like the smell of fish) D10 and I like eating it. Would this drive her to the bedroom to get away from the smell? H is rarely home to eat in the evenings.
Turn the thermostat down when D10 slept over a friends house. Check! except then H will run an extra heater
She sometimes fall a sleep with the remote in her hand. I would switch the TV to a religious station. Ha!
Clean the bedroom. Check!
Move the bedroom furniture around. Make changes I liked, since she wasn't sleeping there. Check!
Play soothing music on the radio. Check!
Wake-up and be cheerful even if I wasn't Check! or do a 180 and be the opposite and leave out the back door and not see H at all
Lock my bedroom door, so in the morning when she went to get her clothes she had to use her key. (SS18 use to steel from us that's why the lock.) H has no clothes in the bedroom or in the house. He brings in only what he needs each day.
Take the sleeping bag she used off the couch and store it away. Check! and I went a step further, I moved the whole couch to the barn for 6 months. H slept on the floor. I moved it back in when my sis was coming to stay over.
When she wasn't feeling good and slept on the couch I would tuck her in. Kiss her on the forehead and wish her a good night sleep. Check! No kisses though. I believe I have virgin lips again.

When she did come to bed, all we did was hold hands. Check! sometimes

I don't think I have a goal at this time of having H return to the bed for overnight stays. I would like mutual visits to build up to eventual overnights but right now I have horrible sleep habits and irregular sleep patterns. I can hardly stand to sleep with myself!

I do feel bad for him sleeping on the couch all these years but it is his choice. It is getting pretty lumpy and he has a sore back quite often. Then he goes to the chiropractor. It's so easy to see the problem from my perspective but he is still too stubborn and his pride or guilt keeps him blind. Maybe his eyes are opening just a bit though.

Congrats to you for your W returning to the bed!