V. Thanks again Yes this time of year is hard. Today I am having anxiety over X not communicating with me for a week now. I am probable reading too much into it though. Has me wondering if we will be doing our "date" night tomorrow. I am trying to stay fast and not make first contact. She wanted space and I am trying my hardest to provide that. Will head to gym for one of those p!$$ed off work outs. Going to be sore on Tues:)
I've been flying under the radar past week or so. Not much change. Today will mark two weeks since I have heard from X. Don't know what happened to have her stop calling out of the blue. I am frustrated as I thought we were moving forward. Date nights when we had them were pleasant, no pursuing by me etc. Oh well. My life goes on.
Have a appointment with my Coach tonight. Have a few issues to work on. 1) When to contact X, and if I should? This is the longest we have gone with out talking, two weeks. I have no idea why she stopped. Have been reading a lot into it but thats just me. Would love to know what is going on in her mind. 2) What signs do I need to show me its time to move on? Is it going to be a gut feeling on my part or some 2x4. I still have plenty of hope that we can make it work. I feel that somehow her heart needs to be softened to love me again. Maybe that will come in time. 3) When to start dating? This is a tough on for me. I have been hanging out with some friends as a group. There are a couple gals that I would like to take out if appropriate. Do I risk alienating X or would this be a GAL thing that shows I can go on with out her. Don't want to but I know thats a strong possiblity. 4) What things can I do to "win" her back? I am doing a ton of GAL, trying like hell to PMA. Praying more than I ever have in my life. Dress nice, smell great, am happy when I am out, going to take guitar lessons, start a martial art class and learn to scuba. I may have time for her if she wants:) Any ideas, comments, thoughts? B
You guys crack me up. Anyway. Went to the coach on Weds. Talked about all the things i had wanted to. On X. He thinks, based on his talks with her in the past, that she is either pulling back because she is scared to admit feelings or just taking some space. I guess in the past she has told him she does think that it would be possible to get back together and that it is more of her issues than mine. Ok. I can take that. On dating. He thinks that as long as I am open to X, when she contacts me, and open with my dates about where I stand that this would be a good idea. Kind of like moving on but with hope of coming together. Ok. Can deal with that. He did caution me to get into a relationship though. I agree that is prudent advice. I don't want one as it may not be fair for either parties. On contacting X. He thinks that staying th course and letting her make the first move would be huge in gaining trust and allowing her to have space. I think I have heard this before? So do I give up? Do I move on? Well yes and no to both. Give up. No but be cautious of what the outcome may be. Move on. Yes as much as I can without getting in a commited relationship. He has me making a plan as well. More or less a six month type. First. Pay off some of my bills to free up cash. Second. Do at least one date a week. Third. Three days a week do something for Byron. Gym, martial art class, guitar etc. Four. Work on either buying a "cheap" house/condo or renting so that I won't be living with family. Hate living here anyway. Fith. Maybe get a part time job to fill some empty time and to add a bit more money to my wallet. Sixth. Keep searching for answers with God. Gives me space around the issues to more or less take some of the stress away.
This is stuff I should have been doing all along. "The rope" is just about hitting the ground from my hands. I have to wonder "what if", what if I had done this earlier. Oh well. Didn't and there is nothing to do about it now. He also mentioned, how many times have I seen this on the boards, to stay in the NOW. Work with what IS and not what you want it to be. The space in betwee, IS and WANT is where anxiety and pain are housed. Don't open their door as they are hard to close back up. Hope evey body is having a great day and will have a great weekend. Thanks Byron
Ha! Now I can mock your spelling (not really because the way you spelled it in the post to ff is correct). However, the phrase came from ads in the 1980's (you are making me show my vintage)by the tabloid the National Enquirer. Because their name was with an "e", they used "enquiring" in the ad: "Enquiring minds want to know."
