Hey Julia, I'm so sorry. But I am glad you managed to cry. I'm sorry that this is the reality, it hurts, I know, it IS horrible.
Originally Posted By: JCJ
He said that both agents had said that renting was a waste of time as they both had loads of properties lying empty
Ok, thats rubbish. Even if it wasnt, you can find your own tenant. You dont have to move out straight away and have it stood empty, you can start to advertise it, with agents, do your own private ad in the local paper, also, put private ads up on businesses/companies in the area - or where you work, where H works, where any of your friends work and will post an ad for you. Call the local hospital/civil service and get them to advertise for you - they have free lists for their employees. I have done all of these things and ALWAYS had like a dozen phonecalls the same day. I cant believe that estate agent said that and your H fell for it!
Which makes me think he is either fibbing, or painting it that way as basically he wants to sell.
But.. this isnt about your R, this is about losing money. If you really feel you dont want to sell YET becuase of money, then say you will handle the rental side and he need have no involvement. As long as you think the rent will cover the mortgage and any costs (like buildings insurance) I dont see why you cant do that.
Thats what me and my ex do. He covers costs and looks after adverts/tenants for the house he inherited and I do it all for the others. We never need talk about it really and it all ticks along. If I lose a tenant, I pay the gap myself on the mortgage if theirs no rent coming in. I NEVER ask him for a penny, despite the mortgage being in his name! Likewise, he does that on his Dads house (again, jointly owned). I hope this helps you think outside the box. If you decide you will only consider renting, I thikn you have to accept you can no longer ask him for money for bills etc, as he doesnt want the cost of the house anymore.
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I just feel like such an idiot because I agreed to sell back in June and it has taken him this long to do anything about it.
Dont worry about it, the market had already collapsed and I remember you said back then, that there were unsold houses in your street. Its doubtful it would have sold anyway.. and besides, you werent ready, were you? That was an 'ending' you werent ready for back in June, IMHO.
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I have been 'giving him space' and not pushing etc etc in the meantime he has moved in with ow
.. you didnt 'give' him space, he took it hey, his decision. I know its hard to think about, but he decided to leave and start an R with someone else, dont blame yourself! For whatever reason (and lets blame Pluto), this is something he needed to do.
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we can't even have a discussion about it - all I get is an email.
You CAN have a discussion about it.. but you havent been unemotional, or demanding of a meeting, because you have been DBing him. You can refuse to answer emails/texts, or just say, this is silly, please meet me to talk it through. Just do whatever you need to do, regardless of fear of how he may react now.
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'Hope you had a nice break anyway. I had two whole weeks off and it felt like months, it was blissful.
Yes, I agree, that is a little insensitive. I guess he either doesnt realise, or he is just trying to be chatty, I dont know but I am sure he ISNT trying to rub your nose in it. Must have been hard to read though.
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I know this post is reactional and I am venting
its not reactional and you shouldnt beat yourself up for it.. I dont think you can continue to not see the sitch for what it is. II'm sorry I havent listed the positives, his email WAS nice and ffriendly and shows he cares. Thinking of you...
