The thing which REALLY got me was how accepting people IN THE CHURCH and her sisters were of my exW's behavior.....
Her sister said, "Affairs happen." EXCUSE ME! If I were out banging some babe from work, would HER SISTER say the same.... I think NOT! They would want be strung up by my balls!
One pastor said, "This happens alot." Hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm............. If I were in that position, I would definitely be trying to get the person to see both of them were responsible for the downturn of the M. HOWEVER, I would make it VERY clear.... I would say something like.... "You, like many of us were not a perfect spouse..... But what your W did was Biblically wrong....." This is allowing God's Word to judge.....
Anyway, I am done venting...
Take Care,
RMG
Gosh, go away for a year or so and nothing really changes! LOL Same stories. You are sooo right about the church and family not taking them to task.
XW got involved w/ a friend, coworker of mine and member of her CATHOLIC church choir. Nobody told her she was doing something wrong b/c they didn't want to get involved. Priest even said he couldn't say anything to her unless she came to him.
She justified it by saying she told me the marriage was over before she told OG that she had the hots for him. Yeah, 9 hours earlier!
Do ya think if I had told her the marriage was over and I wanted out and then went over to her GF's house and told her I wanted her that would have been okay? NOT!
But as to the original ?...
I did somethings early in our marriage that contributed. But over the last few years I was trying to be a great husband while she was just wallowing in sadness, grief, self pity. ]] I finally have realized that NOTHING I could have done would have changed things. Even if I had ALWAYS been a great husband sooner or later her inherent unhappiness/childishness would have reared it's head.
I'm much happier now. Unfortunately the kids are enmeshed w/ her and her new H (not OG) and don't see me much. Counselor that met w/ us and Daughter actually told me she'd be willing to testify in court on my behalf that they were all screwed up. I did not pursue legal options. Not worth the emotional/$$ cost.
