It seems to be working! Sometimes....

[sandycay]

Ok - been working on the compliment/building up program a little bit. Doing more little "lovey" things. As he was going to bed early the other night because he had to be up silly early this week....I told him, "Hey, I really aprreciate how hard you work for our family." He looked surprised, he kinda blushed, looked uncomfortable, and said, "Thank you".

On another front, I had my first "panic attack" (I guess that what you call it) last night. I was cooking dinner and he called me into the office and he was working on taxes and wanted to know my take on how much we should contribute to my IRA. Anyway, after pointing out different scenarios to me, I had to return to the kitchen to "stir the pot" and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

We had this same conversation about a week after I found out the A (during the 10 days he broke it off with her and was going to stay and work on the marriage) I just remember thinking at that time that he was obviously sincere about staying with me as what H would put/plan to put money in his W's IRA if he was going to leave?

It just brough back those old chest crushing, shaking, sick to my stomach feeling. Instead of swallowing it though I just went into the office and calmly told that I needed him to stop doing the taxes that I was having a moment of crisis and told him what was going on. He starts apologizing again and I just told him to stop apologizing, that I was just having a moment as to be expected, it had nothing to do with him and I just needed to refocus on something else.....it was just a Deja-vu.

He didn't spin into a guilty cycle as I expected and let me be what I needed to be.

Everyone have a blessed day!