Ali, what is the point of trying to find out the truth elsewhere? Dont you get it? It's not about the facts, it's about HIM tearing down that wall between us and creating one between them (him and her). I have to be in a one-on-on relationship. It cant be any other way. He cant have me as the "mother of his kids", her as friend, his ex as advisor and leave me in the dark about how he feels, what he is thinking of, what he wants... I have to be everything to him. EVERYTHING. I have to. My rules, my game.
Today his words echo in my head "I was a jerk to believe you changed"... Telling me why on earth did I want to start a convo in the evening, telling me he "has nothing else to tell me"...
I am hurt. I thought he could understand what he caused. I thought he would care enough to "take care of me", to try and reassure me little by little, make me feel at ease...
He doesnt care. I think he is still in love with her and she dumped him and he came back to "his family". I think maybe he realised he was loosing me and wanted to stop that. Maybe he wanted to cause me more pain. Maybe he enjoys that. Maybe he decided he can live "half dead" and thought I would want the same.
I dont know what to think anymore. Could I be completely wrong? I see no compassion (sp?), no caring again in his eyes...
I need to talk to him in front of someone else. He has to listen to me. xxx K
