Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

H was a jerk today. He called me all confused about the balance due on a bill that is normally paid by withdrawal from our account, but H lost the checkbook last week, so we had to close that account, which of course messed up the payment which was being processed at the time. H got all huffy when I couldn't explain the bill to him. I was really trying to be nice and supportive of his confusion, until he started getting pissy at me and then I said "Why are you getting mad at me? I didn't loose the checkbook"......that didn't go over well.

Then this evening H sends me this e-mail that the school notified him that S17 missed school again today. S is failing a couple of classes and wants to go to "alternative" school to finish his senior year. H doesn't like that idea (I'm not wild about it either), but the kid is 17 and I can't "make" him do anything anymore. Three days before Christmas vacation, H and I sat down with S17 and (after consulting with our C) told him that school was his responsibility and we were "dropping the rope" and stopping the battles, and leaving him to it. Now H is e-mailing me saying that alternative school is not a good idea, and S17 will only slack off and fail. He complains, but when I ask him if he has any other suggestions, he pretty much either says nothing, or "kick him out", or "make him join the army". I don't understand that one! What father would actually want to make his child go to a war zone, which is definitely where he would go in the army?

I have had a lot of long talks with S lately and I feel we have reached an OK understanding. He says he will finish his diploma this year, and he want's to get a part time job too. His attititude the past week has been better around the house, and when I ask him for stuff like chores, he has been good about doing it. I have told him that so long as he cooperates with me and I see him moving towards a goal, I will support him and help him as best I can.

I try to just let it all roll off my back, but sometimes the man really pisses me off!!! He just such a judgemental perfectionist butthead!! And he already has one child that won't even speak to him.....he has to go for the other one too? And he thinks the kids have gotten rebellious and given up on pleasing him because I have been "too easy on them"!! No, it couldn't be because they realize that they will never live up to his expectations so why even try!!

It just really gets me. I love my family. My H and my kids. They can't even be in a room together without bickering at each other. Where did I go so wrong?.......I guess it's when I married a man who does not believe in "unconditional" love......