You are right I set my expectations too high, I guess there has been quite a lot of positive stuff happening and I set myself up.
On a good note, I left my W alone all day and didn't hear from her. I was hoping and praying that somehow her going out for drinks would turn into a positive. Well a the end of the day I felt compelled to text my W , I was thinking of something different based on Jody's recommendation. A snow storm was forecasted so I sent her a text giving her a heads up and and put something funny in it. Later she responded thanking me and she will bring her work home in case she couldn't drive in. she also asked me how my day went. Positive.
She then called and left a message for me to call her. ???? I called her back and without getting too much into it we talked openly and honestly about a lot ,I let her lead.
She talked about one day she doesn't want to try the next day she might etc. She also said that she had a good friendship with OM but it crossed the line. I believe she went out with him last night too see if they could just be friends, because the next comment was now that she crossed the line with him she couldn't go back to that friendship. Again time will tell but someone said that it takes a few time to leave for good.
She asked me how I felt about that "you must be thinking I knew it or I told you so and you must be angry" That one caught me off guard, I replied "I've dealt with it I'm not angry or bitter but I will be honest it makes me feel awkward". Now I don't know if it was the right response but I was trying to make it so that she doesn't think that I would be so angry I wouldn't take her back. I didn't want to dwell on that because I didn't think it was the right time. I figure we will have to have that conversation but only when would becoming stronger.
We talked about alot more, she said she doesn't want to be unfair to me and that she would be nervous about doing stuff together if it didn't work out. I said lets just have fun as friends and get to know each other that way "no pressure. She said I may not be home after work but if not I will be with my mother.
I could sense she was zoning out so I said I have talked too much, she said no you didn't and I replied we can talk later and let her go.
Finally, I finished work and did some errands I picked up groceries to cook some diner with only me in mind. For some reason I cooked enough for both of us, but still wasn't expecting her home. Well she walks in to door and I had dinner ready, lucky or what, she enjoyed dinner again said thanks. I oculd tell she was thinking so I just let her be and have gone to bed early.
Prayer works every time I feel down something positive happens. I just have to have no expectations so I don't ride the roller coaster
That's the saga for now, who knows what tomorrow will bring
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
