H asked me to move out a few months ago, and I wanted the kids to be in their home for Christmas, so I told him after Jan.1. He will move back in the house as there is no way we can sell it right now. He can afford it alone, I can't.
I HATE this! My kids and I will be moving in with my mom. Not that that's BAD, but it's not home. This is the only home my kids have known, and we can't take all their things. They wont have all their toys, dolls, cars, all their books, or the beloved swingset. Most of all, it's just not their home. They love my mom's house, and she has plenty of toys, but it's just not home. I am really having a hard time with this. I love my home! I love MY space, the spa, and my BED.
My mom told me last night that God's hand is on my life. Oh, Really??
I think I've spent every day since Christmas crying over this. Seriously, this pain is like the day we separated all over again. You know that intense pain where you have to think about breathing?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
((((Lady))) Yes. I completely understand where you are coming from. Leaving your home, and feeling like you can't catch your breath is as crappy a feeling as there is.
I am taking it there is enough space at your mom's right now for you to move in there, so let's focus on the positive versus the negative. Right now, you and the kids will be surrounded by the loving arms of your family, and open up your heart to feel that.
On the other hand, your H will be stumbling around that big old house by himself... with nothing but memories of your life together there.
Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I haven't filed for anything yet. I've checked with a couple attorneys, and I know what I can do... Eventually.
Right now I can't move that way. One thing at a time. I only have enough light for the step I'm on.
Cat, thanks for your sig line "All your expectations must be placed on God." That's one to put on my bathroom mirror to remind myself.
I can't believe that 50% of marriages fail! Really?? 50% of the populations feels this crappy?? How do we function as a society? I mean this is PAINFUL!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Lady you are right doing this one step at a time. Seems funny doesn’t it my old friend that you and I seem to be keeping pace on both of our sich. Let him walk around in that memory box and miss ya. In his mind he has you concerned. Maybe its time to try a different tunnel, and let him feel the loss of you. If he doesn’t want to commit as a husband, don’t give him the benefit of s wife. This means no tears and no sex and just plain politeness. There ma come a time when you will not have him in your life, and if that’s the case act like its right now. Protect yourself and protect your kids and let him see a future were you are not around. If that’s not a very nice picture for him then he will try to turn it around. If he can stomach a world with out his wonderful wife Lady B.. Then he’s a different person then you met, and you WILL find a better one. All your GAL work will see to that. Plus you will be a better partner to the next lucky man, as you will be wiser. Oh and he will still be unhappy with his baggage. And if he gets re-married he will be 60 percent likely to get D’ed again as he never came to grips with his role in your M.
it angers me that you are the one moving out, I guess since I dont' know your numbers perhaps you really can't afford the house with CS, I sure wish you could, and dont' be afraid to do whatever it is necesary to make sure you and the kids will be ok at the danger of "rocking the boat", please take care of your intersts first.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Ms Ladybug How are you doing? Sorry you have to move, it just seems not fair. Take one step at a time and please protect yourself and your kids at all cost. It may be good idea to get the CS rolling. It may slap some realities in him.
Believe in yourself...you can do this.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Lady B are you doing ok? How is the move going? Remember even though most of us are physically far away we are all pulling for ya on this board. When you get “in a funk” we are here to listen and provide encouragement. To clarify to your post to me I am the one who switched cell phones by dropping her from my bill. I was sick of paying for my W’s phone and the phone her parents share, yet still being viewed as a “enemy “by both. Use thia move as a kind of new start. You can leave the old memories behind at the house and build a snug family oriented home were your moving
My prayers go out to you...I pray for your sitch everyday. Please let us know how the move is going for you.
I was just thinking, this might actually be a good thing. Let him be in the house of memories...when my wife moved out, at first I was okay with that...the memories around the house constantly get at you...maybe a dose of that will get him thinking. I know that the thoughts by others here are that he won't care, but I didn't care at first either...it just has it's way, you know? My goal is actually for her to ultimately move up here back in the house...I'll move out and stay with friends, to get here here into the house of memories. Anyway, let us know...
