Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Arragh!

Terrible night, my boys were absolutely unruley and I don't know what the heck happened this weekend over there but they came back in complete disarray.

Couple that with a nagging sense of questioning the intent of W's recent need to communicate, and 'true feelings' but then not showing up or having the decency to call about the kids, equals recipe for disaster. Made no contact to W for any reason, no text, no nothing, boy was I tempted but figured nah. Then the voices in the back of the head get kicking in "she's been this cold hearted to you thus far, what says she's not lying". It gets hard to reassure your own self that she's reverting back from being that 'evil' person and just needs time. Just don't understand why HE gets time but I didn't? I didn't get a chance to realize what happened until it was all said and done

Eh well, I have faith the ultimate answer will come soon enough on it's own. Thanks to Amy for 'dropping by' that helped so much. To tell you the truth, things got so bad last night, I sent everybody, self included to bed at 9:20. then at about 1:30am I started waking up every 20 minutes or so. Finally just ended up staying awake at 3:30 and doing laundry and dishes all the while my stomache was killing me, haven't felt this way since the end of August or so.

so, I just need to get home tonight and pray the boys are in much better moods so we can go about our time together and keep my mind off of whatever it is that "needs" to go on between W and OM before things can get better for us.

Just sucks, first no communication, then 'ugly' communication, to a truce, then a ray of hope to back to no communication.