Anyway, my h just this second came into the room and said he is leaving tonight to go live with ow's family. I am having some trouble keeping it together right now.
He said, I am leaving tonight, BM. I'll be back in a couple of days to see son. I said ok. I held in my tears until he left the room.
I guess I was hoping this wasnt going to happen. I am so sad.
Well, this is the next step in the journey. I hope my h finds himself and finds his way home.
I am so sorry ... this is a painful time. You had hoped and you may still hope. But please look after yourself and your son. Your h is on a path that even he doesn't know where it is leading. I hope you can let go enough to shield yourself from some of the pain. My h is with ow too.
Thanks W. My h sent so many mixed signals. The way he has handled this whole situation was horrendous and terribly deceitful and hurtful.
I now have no choice but to file. I guess I thought since he stayed so long, he was staying. But, this is where the journey is taking him.
It is his loss all the way around. Really. He is giving up a lot. I will have to sell my home. My son has failed in school and now has to go to a community college instead of the one of his choice.
He is giving up seeing his son everyday. A son who loves to be with him to move 2 hours away to be with her. Sad.
Keep repeating this to yourself, BM! It is the truth!!!
GAL, woman!! GAl your a** off!! And go dark as far as H goes!
And by the way, you did real good in not melting down in front of H! When my emotions are engaged, there's no stopping the water works. Mad. Sad. Happy. Doesn't matter. I cry!
{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Hey SC, thanks. Well, I didnt do so well after all. H saw that I was crying. And then I called him and said, what did you tell our s so I know what to say. He said, I told him, Son, I waited until after the holidays, but now I have to leave.
I said, well, it would have been nice if you said that to me instead of, oh by the way, I am leaving today to go live with ow's mom (ow lives in another state). I said, dont you think it would have been kinder of you to sit down with me and talk to me like I am a human instead of the way you did, as if you were talking about the weather? And then I hung up on him.
So much for holding it all together. In the meantime, my 18 year old son is curled up in a ball on his bed. My h told him the first time and stayed a year, then told him again and stayed a month, so I am sure my son thought, as I subconsciencely did, that he was staying.
I am really sad and angry. I am angry that I allowed my h, whom I have known for 30 years,to make me feel worthless. That he could be so cold and talk to me about leaving as if I were nothing to him.
I am angry with myself that I had 18 months, and I did nothing about finding a better job, I did not protect myself financially and I did not GAL the way I should have.
I am crying my eyes out and I hurt as I did when he first dropped the bomb. He even said to me, why do you still have feelings for me. And I wonder myself why I do.
The honest truth is they don't care right now. They don't care who they hurt. My H and others here have gone through it too. They treat you like second class citizens. It's heartbreaking I know but deep down they know it is wrong.
Now it's time for you to get it together. Don't worry about what happened before. Do what you have to now.
Your H probably thinks he is going to a party. But remember all parties end. It will get old for him.
My H used to say things like that too. It made him feel less guilt but it will catch up to him.
It got ugly last night; I threatened to tell his son about his affair. He didnt want to talk and I forced him to. Then I said is your ow moving to our state - tell me the truth! He denied it, of course.
Months of keeping everything in came to a head. I hate that I allowed myself to get like that. I am so stressed by it all and mostly that I have to file next week. I am sick over that.
