Good to hear from you. I haven't heard from A since Christmas, but I am trying to trust that he will eventually call again. I have been paralyzed about what to do because I want to talk to him about my mom since she needs, yet, another operation tomorrow, and I have been staying with them again.
I do think that he feels safer and wants to be kinder. I just think that even though it was so small, I have to remind myself how monumental it is that he called at Christmas. (I just want to see him.)
I just hope that this isn't practice for me to learn to be without him because I don't want to give up. I don't want this to be 'only' a self-journey, but I my main goal is to have renewal and be reconciled and be reunited with A.
He did tell me that he has been working more because times have been very bad in the luxury car sales business. I haven't been the happiest of campers because I have been working, sick again, and taking care of my parents. My life has been on hold, and I feel somewhat sorry for myself. I want to talk to him for support sake, but I don't want to talk to him being down. I have mixed feelings about it. My roommate, 'V' tells me to call him and talk to him. I let it go always.
I don't have church support anymore, I get very upset when they push me because I don't like their attitude when it comes to A. They are never, ever positive or hopeful.
I miss him. Again, I feel that there is nothing in the DBing black bag for me. Maybe I should buy some red shoes.
