I just ended the Joint MC today - wife was in IDNLY stage, and refusing to give up EA with OM. When A with OM was brought up and confirmed, C stated that joint MC was not going to work and should not proceed until W is willing to work on M instead of R with OM.
He was pretty clear that there could be room for only one R in MC.
It was then pretty easy for me. I already had my plan - (stop pursuit, GAL, wait and see), so I was calm about the whole thing. I thing they both (C and W) were expecting me to protest and try to keep the joint MC going, but I could already see that joint MC was not the answer right now - just put pressure on her.
My advice - keep your DR plan in mind - then don't talk about it. Just remain calm, listen to what H says, agree with his feelings, then move on.
When I was pressed for my feelings, I just said something about "doing a lot of soul searching lately" and "having to make my own decisions"
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
