This also worked for me:

Read/read/read/read

Then practice/practice/practice (I practice all my "NEW" habits with my kids, other women, freinds etc... (LOT EASIER because there is no wall)

Empathy, "REALLY LISTENING", compassion, validating....(WITHOUT CONTROLLING)

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712