Hi Poohbear, look for Trying2Live post. There is a great book she recommended calling "surviving an Affair" by Hartley? It talks about Plan A and then Plan B. Your H sounds like he would respond well to this. Plan A is you meet his emotional needs (in book there is a quiz that you can take for him), after a set time you go into Plan B - go dark. You send a letter saying No contact till OW goes etc. Pretty detailed but worth looking at. good luck.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
